I am such a horrible mother.

So let me explain why I am feeling this way. I kicked Becca out of the house tonight and I know that she has absolutely no where to go.

You see this has been going on for about well actually it has been going on since she turned 16 no correction it has been going on since she entered high school but we would choose to ignore the behaviour but when she turned 16 it got much worse that we couldn't ignore it anymore and the last 4 months have just been getting worse and worse, she is lying, stealing from us, and just a horrific attitude and behaviour in general.

We have told her to get out a couple of times since the summer but we always let her back in with promises of improved behaviour, which she would do for a while and then go back to the bad behaviour.

So what happened tonight?

Well everything started this morning soon after Becca got up I was cleaning up the in the kitchen and I realized that stuff was missing (stuff we had specifically asked her not to touch) and after confirming with Cliff that I was not mistaken. Cliff and I started to talk to Becca and reaffirm that this was not acceptable behaviour and that is when the attitude started that we wanted her to be perfect and that we were horrible parents and people in general and that anything that she did wrong was not her fault and that she would do what she wanted. At that point both Cliff and I were getting really upset and were going to lose our cool. So we told her to go talk a walk and to be back at noon for when we were leaving for book study, that was at about 10:30 this morning.

Cliff and I decided that we would continue with the consequences that existed the last time she stole from us. She would not have keys to the house and could not be in the house when we were not there.

So at about 11:40 she walked back into the house and I asked her to finish the dishes from last night before we leave for book study so that when we get home the kitchen was clean for making supper. She refused and said that she was moving the f*** out as soon as she could afford to. we told Becca to keep her jacket on as we were leaving right away and since she was a thief she would not be able to stay in the house while we were not at home and that she had two choices she could come with us to book study or she could just meet us back at the house afterwards and to hand over her key. She refused and started to head down to her basement room Cliff got between her and the basement and reiterated that she needed to give us her key and that she would not be allowed to stay in the house while we were out. So in the end we had to take the key from her and when we left she came along and sat in the back room during the book study. So after the book study we got home and Becca flopped down on my chair in the living room. I told her to get off of my chair as I couldn't afford to replace it. She snarked at me that it was just a chair and that it didn't matter but she got off my chair and sat on the floor. Cliff and I started to put supper together and I told Becca that I needed her to please make sure that all the dishes were done and put away by 8pm (doing dishes is Becca's one of three chores we expect of her the other two being keeping her room reasonably clean and taking care of the litter box in the basement, not a lot in my opinion). She refused saying that she didn't have to do dishes for us because she was moving out when she could afford her own apartment. That was it, I couldn't do this anymore, I love Becca very much but I can't deal with her BS anymore and I told her to get out if she hated it so much here and refused to follow our expectations she could leave. Once again she refused to do anything I told her again that she needed to show us that she intended to follow the expectations (ie start on the dishes) or leave she said no and turned back to her book. I grabbed her boots, coat, mitts etc and put them out the front door. At this point she said that it would be my fault if they got stolen over night. Cliff said to her they are not going to get stolen as she will be wearing them. At this point we lifted her up and put her out the door. During this time she kicked and punched both of us several times and bit Cliff and pinched me. Once the door was closed we got her purse together a handed it out to her with a couple of extra bus tickets so she could get to her course tomorrow. We have phoned her sister if she goes there we will get a call and this time we are not letting her back in tonight (Cliff has promised that he won't) Tomorrow after our Point meeting we will talk with her and hopefully it will have finally gotten thru her head. I hope so this hurts so much.